I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
