He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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