giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize