Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
