i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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