you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
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