If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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