i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
