Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
