Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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