Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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