On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Just high enough for therapy.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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