Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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