I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
