she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
