Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
