she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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