So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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