? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
