i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
