I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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