Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
