hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
soo... how was my night?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
