so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
