Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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