dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
