i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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