i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize