He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
