U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize