I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
