remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I've blown a few things in my day
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
