It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize