you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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