I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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