my text book just quoted the cookie monster
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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