just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
