She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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