You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
