While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
this is an emotional support booty call
Randomize
