I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
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