why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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