How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
