the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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