Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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