i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i wish my penis had a tongue
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
