remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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