I never want to see another naked old woman again.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
