Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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