you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
