I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Who did Billy Mays play for?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
