you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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