the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
This is my gift to your gina
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize