This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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