the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
