i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
