Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
