no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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