it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
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