How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize