She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
