I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
